But before I go, here are some bags I love. I love Bella's bag...I was real excited about this simple design. And I love the bow on Katie's bag, instead of the tie or ruffle. And, Jamie had a brilliant request for a TRAIN bag for her son's Thomas paraphanelia. Love it.
So long, cyperspace. Till we meet again (like a week).
The Pixar Short before the film is a good one, too.
Heaven on earth. A Flat Earth. And I'll tell you why.
You may think this post is about obsession and gluttony, but it is much worse. It's about pregnancy.
I don't know if many of you are familiar with the term hyperemesis gravidarum. Once you understand that emesis means to vomit...you see where I'm going. Use your Latin brains.
Majorus Puketorus. My face in the toilet is no big deal anymore. I basically threw up for..what's 9 x 5...35 months of my short life. I would lose 10-20 pounds before I would gain any, and then it wasn't much because not only was I puking up the smell of water, but the word appetite, too. Luckily smart people realized the anti-nausea drug, Zofran, used for chemo-therapy patients worked for pregnancy related miseries as well. But I couldn't even keep the tiny pill down. (The thought of swallowing $10 every 6-8 hours is enough to make anyone chuck, emesis or not.) So good insurance came to the rescue and for two of the five, I got to stick a big needle attached to a tiny tube attached to a vial of the million dollar miracle into my leg every 2-3 days; and attach that to a pump that, well, pumped a continuous drip of expensive relief into my bloodstream. It took the edge off. I found a picture of it for ya. It helps with the visualization.
My sister Cassy had bought these chips while I was in the hospital enjoying my last and final delivery. My first day home she puts them in my face. "Here, try these," she says. I said no thanks, because it was habit. I didn't eat real food.
Then I remembered I wasn't pregnant anymore. I tried one.
The clouds of maternity woe parted. The rays of sweet culinary goodness came breaking through the 3.8 years of hyper pukes. Those chips. I was free. Free from the bonds of the porcelin monster. Free from my love affair with ice chips. I could eat food again.
So I ate the whole bag.
And then the other one.
And then bought eight more.
Now, whenever I can sneak it, I buy myself a bag and eat as much as non-pregnancy-possible during the two minute drive home from Target. All by myself; as a sweet treat to ME. Alone with my chips, and all of their symbolic glory. Just me and my non-vomitting self.
The five pregnancies are gone and forgotten. The nausea worth the gold. I love my kids.
And I love to eat.
Now I will admit I did consume quite of bit of ginger ale whilst deciding upon which color ribbon would bring out their eyes. Their, black, eyes. And it took a few oreos to work out accentuating their positives...you know, like low rider jeans with back pocket flaps camoflauge the lack of round tushy. Meaning flat. What Not to Wear, TLC. I'm giving away my personal flaws. TMI.
Really, they were fun. Thanks, Sheri.
I give you...the white glove mix.
...that i can't get to load on the post. So it's on the sidebar.
Or just dance.
Improv is a vital survival technique I learned during the Mud Pie Obsession Era. "No. We're going to use pudding, sweetheart. Take the dirt back outside. please."
This Pool Parody requires large containers and kitchen paraphanelia of all sorts; no pudding.
You're good to go.
I hung it on the fridge; with all the other stuff I pretend to remember.
Dani was eating breakfast and says, "Hey mom. Is this your new schedule? I like it."
"Uh, no dear. It's a joke."
"I think you should take it seriously. You need some Me Time. "
"Dani, that lady is horribly uncomfortably stuffed into a sliver of time just enough to take a potty break."
"Works for me," she says.
The only chaotic moment was when Andy decided to hide from me in the giant elephant box and I looked like a crazy lunatic yelling his name while the kids sat around eating cheez-itz.
Oh, and when Joey booked it down the cheetah stairs heading straight into the wild bamboo; and when I had to drag him by the ankles from under the fence while he's screaming "Funny Crane. Funny Crane!"; and when he tried to drink the eco-pond in Butterfly Garden.
Uh, and when Kacie performed her signature overly-dramatic I'm-gonna-die scream for the monkey watchers when I wouldn't give her the dirt covered water bottle, and everyone suddenly lost interest in the dancing gorilla to watch me abuse my child. "She's okay." I said politely. "Watch the dang primate." I said...politely. Very, very quietly.
I wish I had a peanut for every time someone asked "Are all those kids yours?" Then Joey could've at least had a handful of edibles to throw at the camels.
"Don't throw stuff at the camels, Joey!"
"Because it's rude."
"Because it hurts."
"Because you need to go play in the gopher tube. And I need a slushy."
I love a good slushy.
Oh, it's totally worth it just to hear Andy laughing at the naked gorilla scratching his behind; and to discuss gender roles and humility with Dani when she gets an overdose of girl power because the female lions are the ones to hunt & the boys stay home.
It's worth the tear in my eye every time Jakey hugs my leg & says thank you for such a fun day; he won't want to come to the zoo with me forever.
They'll all grow out of it, someday.
So we had fun, yesterday.
I have to fix some things with the design. If you look close you can see the ripple at the seams where the seam allowance doesn't stick to the stabilizer...so I need to think about a solution for that.
I'm trying really hard to ignore Conan's last bit of leftovers that scream threatening words of fattening denial at me every time I open the fridge. You know, to be real nice and play the martyr so Conan will think I'm totally cool for putting his welfare before my love of good eats. I may have to eat it just to make it shutup, though.
Line the bottom of a 13 by 9 by 2-inch dish with 1 bag of cookies and layer bananas on top. In a bowl, combine the milk and pudding mix and blend well using a handheld electric mixer. Using another bowl, combine the cream cheese and condensed milk together and mix until smooth. Fold the whipped topping into the cream cheese mixture. Add the cream cheese mixture to the pudding mixture and stir until well blended. Pour the mixture over the cookies and bananas and cover with the remaining cookies. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Devon played his yellow flute.
Devon ran and ran towards
what he thought was Canada,
and ran right into
The Sorcerer...Knight of the Great White North.
So Devon really did save the world,
We love you.
I've decided the world of fashion and design is a great big foreign country to me. I can't look beyond Target and Pottery Barn.
But I wanted to save my ideas for when we build our house, so here's my Mud RooM. Try to visualize.
this is a mirror.