me time for $2.50 a bag

Alice called and told me Target had their Kellogg's cereal 5 for $11, plus a $5 gift card. Perfect.

Being the bargain shopper I pretend to be, I decided to make the arduous drive down the street to our Target, and push through the crowds of rudeness so common at 9:00pm, and make the sacrifice for my family, all in the name of mommy martyrdom and budget crisis...to check out the cereal revival...oh..the chip aisle...I may as well stroll down casually and look for any more red SALE signs, because that's what a good economically minded mommy does...oh look...I did not purposefully see that my chips are 2 for $5.00. What a pleasant surprise.

Heaven on earth. A Flat Earth. And I'll tell you why.

You may think this post is about obsession and gluttony, but it is much worse. It's about pregnancy.

I don't know if many of you are familiar with the term hyperemesis gravidarum. Once you understand that emesis means to vomit...you see where I'm going. Use your Latin brains.

Majorus Puketorus. My face in the toilet is no big deal anymore. I basically threw up for..what's 9 x 5...35 months of my short life. I would lose 10-20 pounds before I would gain any, and then it wasn't much because not only was I puking up the smell of water, but the word appetite, too. Luckily smart people realized the anti-nausea drug, Zofran, used for chemo-therapy patients worked for pregnancy related miseries as well. But I couldn't even keep the tiny pill down. (The thought of swallowing $10 every 6-8 hours is enough to make anyone chuck, emesis or not.) So good insurance came to the rescue and for two of the five, I got to stick a big needle attached to a tiny tube attached to a vial of the million dollar miracle into my leg every 2-3 days; and attach that to a pump that, well, pumped a continuous drip of expensive relief into my bloodstream. It took the edge off. I found a picture of it for ya. It helps with the visualization.

Okay...the chips...

My sister Cassy had bought these chips while I was in the hospital enjoying my last and final delivery. My first day home she puts them in my face. "Here, try these," she says. I said no thanks, because it was habit. I didn't eat real food.

Then I remembered I wasn't pregnant anymore. I tried one.

The clouds of maternity woe parted. The rays of sweet culinary goodness came breaking through the 3.8 years of hyper pukes. Those chips. I was free. Free from the bonds of the porcelin monster. Free from my love affair with ice chips. I could eat food again.

So I ate the whole bag.

And then the other one.

And then bought eight more.

Now, whenever I can sneak it, I buy myself a bag and eat as much as non-pregnancy-possible during the two minute drive home from Target. All by myself; as a sweet treat to ME. Alone with my chips, and all of their symbolic glory. Just me and my non-vomitting self.

The five pregnancies are gone and forgotten. The nausea worth the gold. I love my kids.

And I love to eat.

Wild Berry Patch holds the most meaning for me, but the Peach Mango Paradise sure are scrumptious, too.


Unknown said...

Why did I not see this sale at Target? I LOVE these chips too, but rarely splurge the $3 on them. Isn't it funny that $2.5o just seems so much more reasonable, huh?

Pregnancy wasn't the reason for my discovery but weight watchers was....you know God gives each of us our own path the heaven. he he

I love the wildberry and the peach and the apple...I haven't dared into the vegetable versions yet.

ShEiLa said...

I love your post condoning some self-indulgent splurges. Flat Earth... I am sure it would just confuse Christopher Columbus if he were here. Ü I have never tried these before... they sure look tempting. Here I go to search for the nutritional information to see if I can implement them into my WW routine... ToOdLeS, ShEiLA

Mia said...

Wow that is one heck of a testimonial for chips! I am on my way to Target RIGHT NOW... or in the morning when it isn't Sunday and I am not in pajamas :)

Natalie said...

Wow! I've never heard of prego sickness that bad. You poor thing! I thought for a moment you were announcing that you had another bun in the oven! :)

Natalie said...

btw, my inlaws work for Frito Lay and they brought me two big boxes full of peach and mango snack-sized chips. I devoured them! But my kids were sick of them real fast. (just thought i'd make you jealous!)

Katy Beth said...

Someone who understands!! Isn't it amazing when you've spent so much time sick & you can finally eat something amazing? I lived on those Gerber puffs that toddlers eat, but later found the sheer heaven that is Flat Earth.
Gosh, I miss you! haha

AndyPandyJackaDandy said...

I love these chips too, but have never tried the Wild Berry variety. I am a fan of the tomatoish ones. Still have trouble making a chip sweet in my brain. But I'll get there. :)