I hate socks.

This is my laundry room.  I'm not showing you my washer and dryer because that's not what I want to talk about.  And pay no attention to the I heart laundry bologna.  ignore it.  It was a positive affirmation I was using to trick myself, that I'm mad at.

I want to talk about this:

My Lonely Sock jar.  My INCREDIBLY OVERFLOWING Lonely Sock jar.

I share this desperately crowded container with you because I have a deep feeling that someone out there may be able to relate to my darkness and help me find the inner domestic peace I have been so longing for.

I put this jar in my laundry room months ago so all those sad lonely socks who had lost their sweet companions would have a place to go.  Friends to hang out with until their pair was found, you know?  That's a righteous desire, yes?  NO!  
I've created a sock swallowing abyss.  

my problem = overflowing sock jar and naked feet because nobody has any socks to wear because they can't seem to locate that big jar labeled SOCKS.

My solution = Empty the thing, and every sock drawer in the house, right in front of the tv and politely request that the sweet naked footed children MATCH THE SOCKS!  Or live forever in their bareness.

(The little pile off to the side are Conan's socks, so as not to be confused (and stolen) as little boy socks.)

The reaping went rather well.  I didn't take pictures because there was much weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth which I chose not to document.

Each pair-less sock was successfully eliminated!  I had to add a rule that if any sock had a hole larger than their pinky toe it was also thrown out, along with its pair.  And the rest made it safely back to where they belong in their drawer of choice...together...forever.  

Aaaaahhhh.  empty jar.  sigh.  life is good to me.

It's been 3 days.  
I repeat...THU-REE days.

And may I present to you, my once upon a time empty Lonely Sock jar:
Wha, huh?! 

WHERE DID THOSE COME FROM?  WHY ARE THEY HERE?  WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!!  For all that's good and lovely in this world.

i totally quit.


Lori said...

Amen and amen.

Laurie said...

Another reason to love summer; sandals! I quit folding socks about a year ago. I bought my remaining 2 children different socks. One gets ALL the socks that have a color strip near the toe. Unfolded. The other gets all the one's with the gray heels. Dad gets all the black ones (all purchased the same day and the other's thrown out). If they need a pr of black socks they borrow from dad. There are still a few odd socks thrown in; i.e. hiking and Dad's athletic socks...but my life got easier.

Unknown said...

thank you lonely socks for making cally blog again. I've so missed her. And whenever you actually do match them all up, just know that in households throughout America there are plenty of mismatches. I have a whole Tupperware bin in my laundry room. It NEVER gets completely emptied and I am sore afraid of throwing away a sock that will be needed when its match shows up...they always show up...eventually.

Maybe it is time for something drastic. Maybe we should all cut off one foot. Or we could all just adopt the system of wearing mismatched socks. My kids are into that. (Which adds to more sock mismatching.)

I like one mom's idea of buying all of her kids ALL matching socks.

corrie said...

I love that sock frustration has induced you to come out of your blogging hiatus. I buy each kid their own brand of sock so I know who is responsible. Nash has the stripe and Carter has the grey heel.

ShEiLa said...

lonely socks... you are not the only one with this problem... although mine decreased once my kiddos moved out.

I used to swear the washing machine ate them... but I think it's more believable to say the kids misplace them and some don't make it to the laundry room at all.


Amy said...

I have this same problem.
And I love that you blogged about it :)

wendy said...

ha ha...I don't know sweety. The sock mystery has been around since, well'
perhaps since ADAM
had to turn in the fig leaf and start wearing socks?????

Anonymous said...

I also only buy matching socks for my kiddos. The oldest with the blue, middle with green, and youngest with gray...the girl has the pinks and purples, and the baby has the tiny ones. What??? Stripes and polka dots? No way, jose!

Angie said...

Flip Flops. For the whole family. No matter snow or rain. What're cold feet compared to laundry chaos?

julie said...

I too buy differnt brands or colors for each child and lonely socks get put in their basket for them to deal with. I have no idea what happens from there and I do not care.

Shalum said...

This is both so funny and so true! I have a stash of lonely socks that are getting so irritating. But you've put them in a lovely place. They can't be that lonely, right? Great idea, thanks and keep writing!:D