January makes you think. and buy cute workout clothes.

{Joey and Andy in Orlando this summer}

I've been absent. I know. I blinked, and the holidays were over. Andy went to college. And the kids need new shoes.

I miss DisneyWorld.

I remember doing an assignment in Elementary School, watching my hand write the year 1987 in the top right corner of the page, and thinking...whoa. I'm getting old. We wrote about what life would be like in 20 years. I wrote we'd be able to plug cars in, have little tv's you could carry in your hand, and you could push a button on the side of your head and talk to whoever you want.

visionary.

I think I also invented the chocolate fountain that day.

Then I went home and listened to Pop Goes the World on my walkman.

Time is moving. fast. And sometimes I forget I need to go with it.

And sometimes I forget to blog. because I'm busy trying to slow down so I won't forget to watch time move.

I'm trying not to blink again. I want to live this year slowly.

and do a few other things.

Matt.

I've been thinking about home.

My home is here, where I sit and type.

where my children sleep.

But home is there, too. that barn in Canada,

where I've never lived but spent each summer of my life.

I like to breath the air there.

home is where I love the most.

Home is my family.

Where I'm loved the most.

Here.

and there.

It's where I've been.

Where I'll be again

with Conan and our children, forever.

and ever.

The place I don't remember, but I know.

Where I can rest.

My cousin passed away last week.

It's been a long thinking week. about him. about home.

about family. time. the important stuff.

We spent a lot of days at that barn.

I love my family. It's hard not to be with them now.

Not that there's anything I could do for them

to make it stop.

but it's hard to be

away.

it helps to know,

Matt's home.

resting.

and I'm pretty sure he likes the air there.

my new makeup bag.

just to remind me to be beautiful in secret.

when people aren't looking.

to stop staring at the outside of myself in the mirror.

now, while spending time with

my covergirl collection,

i will hopefully think of what I can do

quietly.

to be beautiful

where no one sees.