5.20.2010

yes.

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I went a little crazy and let him open an umbrella inside.


My sister told me a while ago about how she was watching a show with a cool family on it and the Mom said "If you can say yes to your kids, say yes often."

Hmm. We thought about how often our first response is no or not now, and we don't really have a good reason for it. So we tried for a full day to say yes, if we could.

The day has turned into a month, and I still think about it. I'm still trying.

It makes a big difference, if I can remember. They are much more willing to wait or to accept the no's when I say yes more often to the little things. They're more understanding of me because they feel like I understand them.

This doesn't mean to let them do whatever they want and go all crazy, it just means to allow yourself to let go and not have an immediate selfish response to requests. Not to worry about the mess, because {almost} everything is clean-up-able. It means to let them open an umbrella inside once in a while. no big deal, right?

I love their faces when I say "uh {this is where I pause and ask myself if I have a good reason to say no, and I usually don't}...yes, you can."
surprise. delight. gratitude.
it makes for a much less whiny household.

and sometimes broken umbrellas. but that's okay, right?

yes.

17 comments:

corrie said...

Woo Hoo!

Olivia said...

Yes, indeed. If I have learned nothing else as a Mama of 5, it is to know which battles to pick.

And umbrellas as make-believe tents are the least of my worries. :)

Paula said...

I have started to do this as well. I realized that I was saying no as a way of control (dare I say power trip?). Why not say yes whenever possible? Can I paint, color, play with chalk? Yes! Can I wear socks with my sandals, my fairy costume, rain boots on a sunny day? Yes! Can we go outside and play in the sand, mud, water? Yes (eventhough I don't relish the idea of cleaning up). Kids are kids only once. Since starting this, things have been more positive around our house which has made all of us happier. I'm glad to hear someone else is doing this as well. Keep up the awesome work!

Miranda said...

Thanks for posting this. What great food for thought for me. I like this and am going to make a conscious decision to do it.

Victoria van der Laan said...

Yes!

Kari said...

You are a genius. Sold.
Look out Household Of Mine--the world is about to get less whiney. It's about time.

Thank you.

Beeswax said...

ok fine, i'll try.

Christy said...

Terrific advice and I am going to start today. Thank you!! Here come the yesses.

Amber Zimmerman said...

I love this. . .what a great challenge! Going to start today too. :)

trublubyu said...

i remember reading sister hinckley's book probably 5 years ago and taking this counsel from her. it works.

i think we just get in the habit of saying no- and sometimes we say no so we can have full control. but mostly i say no because i am lazy and don't want to have to clean up the mess of a yes.

great reminder.

mandi said...

Love this!
That was my new year resolution- I call 2010 the year of yes! But you know what, I still have to think about it. I still mentally go to no first. It's brain work my friend, but so worth it.

amber said...

Okay okay I think I can do this and I know things will be okay. Now to remind myself of this will be the most difficult task!!

Anna said...

i love that, thanks for such great advice.

Anonymous said...

you're the best. so true. Maybe I'll try that for a day :) -sp

Angie said...

Funny...I've been trying to do this the last little while as well.
Sure is harder than it seems. Everything comes out no. Why is that? Why can't yes be the easy answer? I'm trying to make it that way.

A. said...

Oh, I so needed this today. Thank you for the happy reminder!

Melanie Harvey said...

Wish I'd done more Yes-ing when they were little, but I'm grateful I realized this at some point. Mine are 18, 15 and 12 now, and this is even more important, because they demand that the "No's" make sense. It helps to figure out what your real priorities are--and make it a short list!--so you can die on those hills and lose all the rest. ;-) I mean, say yes to all the rest!