2.28.2010

three.

It's been 10 days since my last post.

The natives are getting hostile. Their leader, the young one, has brought chaos to the clan.

It seems once these primitive creatures turn three they become dominate and bossy, leaving no room for reason. We're no longer able to communicate; negotiations for a peaceful solution look dim.

I'm left to reminisce the peaceful days, when all existed in harmony. When the decibels were much lower. when progress...progressed.

To add an unpleasant flavor to this party, it also appears as though these changes occur when one turns 33. The brain becomes mushy and unreasonable. These things we call hormones decide to produce such reactions as irrational irritation, acne equivalent to the early 90's, and a thing called metabolism. The scales increase with chocolate consumption. Not favorable.


All I can do is camp out and record these unwelcome behavior changes, and hope the quiet days and clear complexions return.

and eat chocolate chips.

17 comments:

wendy said...

Whoever coined the phrase 'terrible two's' obviously didn't have a three year old around! My 3 yr old triplets are about to turn 4 at which point I expect my life to return to the relatively peaceful uneventful life I enjoyed before my angels turned into tyrants!!!!
(I could be fooling myself)

Chris said...

Chocolate chips are my panacea for such days. Semisweet, of course. A much nicer alternative to prozac...and ultimately, I am nicer after a handful, too. I ditto the age three blues. My little guy just hit the four year old mark, and I am hoping for progress soon.

Victoria said...

Oh three, good luck! I second the opinion that the terribles twos are a myth. Three gets me every time.

wendy said...

who is the "other" wendy??
3 year olds are generally my favorite.
and 33 not so bad either ---much nicer then 58

heres to chocolate

corrie said...

It's not 33...
You'll feel better in 5 to 7 days, honey.
And in 28 you'll feel this way again.

yes...eat the chocolate.

amber said...

Chocolate is always a good choice I love it and I am going to agree with you about all the things of turning 33 Happy Birthday by the way!! Also I have 2 two yr olds and it is TERRIBLE I was really hoping that three would be better you are not giving me much hope oh well nothing left to do but eat more chocolate!! :-)

the mama monster said...

and watch lost...( on all that is left to do) i have a new three year old too. i actually had "visions" of me drop kicking him across the room when he whined about not having chocolate milk for the 1000th time. for reals got eat as much chocolate as you need!

Jessica said...

I love the way your write about your kids, at least this insane period hasn't stolen your creativity!

Cherstin said...

hey, Sorry I've been away for so long. I've missed you!!!! I also am not fond of three. I have one now as well and can't wait for the magical 4 to come.

Laura said...

Are you my clone? You've just described my life to a tee... except I'm 34...
I love your blog.

cassy said...

wow. your life sucks...

(tee hee)

Donna said...

Saw your blog for the first time. I lived a life much like yours about 25 years ago. You approach mommyhood with humor and creativity. That's great for you, the natives and your readers!

TheFamousStacie said...

I think I went through a Sam's Club size bag in 15 days last month.

Donna said...

Hubby traveled in his job and I had 4 kids in 5 1/2 years! I'm loving the time of life I'm in now but sometimes I miss the days when the kids and I were in our own little world.

AndyPandyJackaDandy said...

Brody turns 3 on Saturday. And for the last 2 weeks/months...(?) he has been having crazy crying fits and nonsensical meltdowns. I am wondering how any of us will last until he turns 4. Let's commiserate.

amber said...

This is my favorite blog entry of the week! Very rarely am I drawn to read much without illustrations/photos/etc...and I hung onto every word! You're a great writer! :) I'm also happy to hear I'm not the only one feeling this or noticing these changes going on with the increase of age. I want a good metabolism and my chocolate, too...is that too much to ask? ;)

So You Think You Can Decorate said...

Ok i just stumbled across your blog via googling for a infant carseat blanket....thing. first of all let me just say that I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who has no idea what they are called! secondly, this particular post made my day! it was exactly what i needed to hear. I oh so love your blog. So glad I found you :)