5.18.2009

bad. words.

Andy/5 years old: Mom, can you tell me all the bad words?

Mom/wore Debbie Gibson's perfume and twisty beads: No.

Andy/thinks he's on earth by accident, and therefore all humans owe him some serious explanations: Why not?

Mom/running out of serious enough explanations: I don't want you to say them.

Andy/smarter than humans: But mom, I'm not going to say them. I just need to know them so I can tell everyone else what not to say to me.

Mom/smarter than Andy: Okay. The bad words are: me, want, hate, and gimme.

Andy/maybe smarter than Mom: Oh. Thanks mom. pause. You're lying.


***


Andy/he lost a library book: Mom!!! Can you help me find this thing!!! Bloody h.e.double hockey sticks.

Mom/mad at Ron Weasley: What?! Don't say that, Andy.

Andy/thinks his brain is a seperate entity he can't control: Why not?

Mom/trying to keep it simple: Because it's a bad word.

Andy/going to bed early tonight: Oh. Okay. Cally!!! Can you help me find this thing!!! Bloody h.e.double hockey sticks.

***

Me want some serious explanations.

12 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh that Ron Weasley, what are we going to do with him?

Andi Kate, Children's Author said...

HILARIOUS. And I too get mad when seemingly benign things like Harry Potter corrupt our kids without my even knowing it?! Aagh!

Yo Mama said...

Those are some bad words. I thought I was in trouble with POOP.

ShEiLa said...

Unfortunately he will hear all the bad words soon enough... Mother's just spare the enevitable as long as possible.

ToOdLeS.

Lori said...

Oh man, that's some good comedy.

corrie said...

He cracks me up!

AMBER said...

Seriously I laughed my butt off at this I love the innocence of kids !!!

wendy said...

well Cally my dear ----remember grandma sitting you around the table to play the "naughty word game' You know more words then you were disclosing HA HA HA

mer said...

LOL (on some days "mom" is indeed a bad word...)

Mia said...

So funny!!! What a crack up.

I am LoW said...

Ohmy, I had the same conversation with mine about bad words. She totally wanted me to tell them all to her. SO funny!

Sarahie said...

Oh, how funny! I love that he automatically assumed that the bad word you were referring to was "Mom".

I didn't know Debbie Gibson had a perfume. Hmmm...I loved her!