my baby doesn't like babies.

I watched my nephew Thomas today. He's a good baby.

He's a newborn. Piece of cake. Right.

Kacie was all over him. In a controlling, don't look at my mommy or i'll put you in the gallows sort of way. Joey wrinkled his nose and pointed..."what. dat. mom.? ewww. what dat.?" It's a baby. "ewww. don't. like. it. moooom." Joey. pauses. between. each. word. he. says.

There were no injuries, or face slappings, but these babies of mine realized what this baby does to mom. He distracts her. We're talking 8 nectarines, graham crackers, banana, popsicle, elmer's, acrylics, and brown sugar...smushed into one lovely giant masterpiece of maniacs.

All things considered, I did pretty well. I remembered to sway front to back, not side to side...Reminding Thomas of his stint in the womb. I even made swishing noises in his ear.

His dad sings to him in a really high monotone pitch when he cries. I tried that. Scared myself.

I'd slide him into the crib, like butter; sound asleep butter. And just as I'd turn my back, the wailing. The cringing. The praying. Pleeease go to sleep baby. Cute, cute, baby.

Kacie decided she didn't like this thing called beebee.

Yup. We're done.

I love Thomas; and I heart IUD.


Lori said...

Next time it might be just adorable if Kacie stood on his face or something.

Natalie said...

I heart IUD too. 'Tis true, true love.

Wonder Woman said...

My baby hearts babies. Always has. All the more reason I want to have one. (Remember, I've got two, not five.) It's about that time......

But for the time being, I heart IUD, too.

p.s. I've never heard the swaying front to back. I'll have to try that sometime. But it seems unnatural to me. As does high pitch monotone singing. freaky...

ShEiLa said...

What a sad story.

I am sure Kacie is feeling the most pain... jealousy is a 'pretty' monster trying to get out of the small hiding place inside little girls.

The journey usually doesn't take place for several years... around 10 or 11 years old. It just hit Kacie early. Aren't you glad? You can keep up the i ♥ IUD motif. It sounds like there sure is a ton of company in this club.


ps. i had 4 kids & fast. By age 25 I had to have a hysterectomy... so I guess I can't be in the club... unless someone is willing to try drastic measures, then you can join my club.

Beeswax said...

First I wrote something that was too much information.

Then I deleted it.

But it was funny.

Just so you know.

Sorry your baby didn't like the baby.

Katy Beth said...

IUD is amazing. It is true!

Lindsey Rose said...

Well I think you have done your part by contributing to society with five of your own! Way to go!

Emma said...

oh its so nice to send them home
bye bye till next time and turn about is fair play