Conan brined our turkey. And other non essential information:

I have no pictures from Christmas, or any other such recent event, in which I will explain later. And so, since I cannot in good conscience begin a new decade with a picture-less post, I am sharing this.

I call it: Children with Oreo Shakes and a Green Gun.

Let's try to keep them in proper perspective in the New Year, is my wish.

Shakes, good. Plastic guns, okay as long as they're not pointed at your sisters face in close proximity.

Okay, here's my holiday update:

• Popular to contrary belief, I am alive and will blog.

• My omentum got 2 brand new sparkling inches for Christmas. Lovely. But as it should be.

• I didn't finish or come close to even starting the Barbie clothes for Kacie's lovely box of 10 used "mommies and daddies" from ebay. So Ken has a wedgie and the red hair mommy Barbie shows too much leg. But oh well. They're naked now anyways; and will probably stay unclothed for another decade. I'm letting go of this project.

• My new fancy pants camera was stolen. Yup. That's right. Ripped from my very being; and I cried my fancy pants off. Alone, mind you, because it would be embarrassing for anyone to see my crying crocodile tears over a camera with no pants. Just kidding. Here's the story: We went to my sister's house in Alabama, and as I was getting out of the van one afternoon I glanced at my personal belongings {aka purse and camera} and thought "I should take those inside." And the other me thought "No, the kids will just get into it. Leave it here." And the other me thought "Then you should lock the door for sure." And the smart me that has no brain thought "Yeah, do that." And I didn't. So the next morning my sister comes in the house saying she found my purse dumped out in the woods, and the camera loving me thought "My camera!" So I ran to the van, and yup, it was gone. They didn't take anything from my purse, they just dumped it out so as to appear to be looking for something other than a fancy pants camera. I would much rather have them take my Tide Stain Be Gone pen, or the ever valuable princess PullUp. I say they because I'm pretty sure it was a band of wild somethings. Creeps.

• I learned how to make creme brulee and ate it twice. Hence, two inches on the omentum. My sister learned to make it while in Paris, so it was French custard. I bought 8 ramekins at Ross today so I can make it. I just need a torch. Because you torch the top, you know. very French.

• The boys got guns for Christmas. nerf. green.

• Conan brined our turkey. He stuck it in a bucket of salty broth and crystalized ginger overnight, and it was so good. He is now the turkey master.

• I got Conan the soundtrack to West Side Story for his stocking because I knew he'd love it oh so much. Turns out he didn't, so he gave it to me. So generous of him. He got me brie (the fancy cheese) because I love fancy cheese, and some vintage tupperware canisters, and itunes cards. And the books I posted below. He's a smart clicker.

• Last but not least, I'm a mac now. And so that's where I've been. Drowning in the pc to macbook transition realm of how the heck do I right click this thing? I'm so excited to garage band. Power to the iLife.

Happy 2010.