5.18.2009

bad. words.

Andy/5 years old: Mom, can you tell me all the bad words?

Mom/wore Debbie Gibson's perfume and twisty beads: No.

Andy/thinks he's on earth by accident, and therefore all humans owe him some serious explanations: Why not?

Mom/running out of serious enough explanations: I don't want you to say them.

Andy/smarter than humans: But mom, I'm not going to say them. I just need to know them so I can tell everyone else what not to say to me.

Mom/smarter than Andy: Okay. The bad words are: me, want, hate, and gimme.

Andy/maybe smarter than Mom: Oh. Thanks mom. pause. You're lying.


***


Andy/he lost a library book: Mom!!! Can you help me find this thing!!! Bloody h.e.double hockey sticks.

Mom/mad at Ron Weasley: What?! Don't say that, Andy.

Andy/thinks his brain is a seperate entity he can't control: Why not?

Mom/trying to keep it simple: Because it's a bad word.

Andy/going to bed early tonight: Oh. Okay. Cally!!! Can you help me find this thing!!! Bloody h.e.double hockey sticks.

***

Me want some serious explanations.
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12 comments:

  1. UnknownMay 18, 2009 at 4:55 PM

    Oh that Ron Weasley, what are we going to do with him?

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  2. Andi Kate, Children's AuthorMay 18, 2009 at 4:59 PM

    HILARIOUS. And I too get mad when seemingly benign things like Harry Potter corrupt our kids without my even knowing it?! Aagh!

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  3. Yo MamaMay 18, 2009 at 6:19 PM

    Those are some bad words. I thought I was in trouble with POOP.

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  4. ShEiLaMay 18, 2009 at 6:30 PM

    Unfortunately he will hear all the bad words soon enough... Mother's just spare the enevitable as long as possible.

    ToOdLeS.

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  5. LoriMay 18, 2009 at 9:22 PM

    Oh man, that's some good comedy.

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  6. corrieMay 18, 2009 at 10:24 PM

    He cracks me up!

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  7. AMBERMay 18, 2009 at 11:14 PM

    Seriously I laughed my butt off at this I love the innocence of kids !!!

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  8. wendyMay 18, 2009 at 11:22 PM

    well Cally my dear ----remember grandma sitting you around the table to play the "naughty word game' You know more words then you were disclosing HA HA HA

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  9. merMay 19, 2009 at 3:01 AM

    LOL (on some days "mom" is indeed a bad word...)

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  10. MiaMay 19, 2009 at 9:23 AM

    So funny!!! What a crack up.

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  11. I am LoWMay 19, 2009 at 11:10 AM

    Ohmy, I had the same conversation with mine about bad words. She totally wanted me to tell them all to her. SO funny!

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  12. SarahieMay 19, 2009 at 9:40 PM

    Oh, how funny! I love that he automatically assumed that the bad word you were referring to was "Mom".

    I didn't know Debbie Gibson had a perfume. Hmmm...I loved her!

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